Thursday, August 18, 2011

IBCD Summer Institute: Pre-Conferece Give them Grace Sessions 1 & 2


Today, the IBCD Summer Institute, “Families Shaped by Grace,” commenced, featuring speakers such as Dave Harvey, Milton Vincent, and Elyse Fitzpatrick.

This morning was the Women’s Pre-Conference, entitled “Give them Grace,” with Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson, a mother and daughter team who wrote a book by the same name on the topic of parenting. The first two sessions covered this morning provided a helpful reminder of the Gospel, and how it applies to our parenting. In addition, they offered several practical steps for helping us teach the Gospel to our children.

To begin, they reminded us that we cannot give something (i.e., the Gospel) to our children that we do not know and believe. Fitzpatrick and Thompson defined the Gospel as all that Christ has done, and does, on behalf of his people. They rightly put an emphasis on Christ’s accomplishments rather than our own. They also reminded us of the realities that this wonderful good news has created, especially with respect to our identities in Christ.

All too often we teach and expect our children to keep the law perfectly, and teach them that this will “make God happy with you”. But what Fitzpatrick and Thompson reminded us is that neither we, nor our children, can keep the law perfectly. To expect them to do so produces regrettable results. If our children are wired like the older brother in the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15), then to encourage perfect obedience is to turn them into Pharisees. If they’re like the younger brother, then the expectation will put a burden on them that will eventually crush them and turn them to rebellion. Instead, we must point our children back to the truth that their works will never save them–it is only Christ and His work that will save them.

Now, you must be saying to yourself, “What about the law? Do I not give my children rules?” Fitzpatrick and Thompson answered an emphatic YES. We are to give them rules, but we must remember that its purpose is not to make them worthy. In their words, the law serves, “not to make them good”, but “to bring them to Christ” and “to show them what gospel-engendered gratitude looks like.”

So what do we do? In short, Fitzpatrick and Thompson recommended the following:

  • Don’t lie to your children–their good works do not gain them salvation
  • Don’t feed the legalist within them
  • Train them to take refuge in Christ alone

Finally, the duo closed by reminding us–over and against our own self-righteous tendencies–that there is only “One good Father [and] one good Son. Taste and see that the Lord is good.” In other words, God is the only truly good parent, and Christ was the only truly good Son, and only after we rest in our salvation can we parent out of grace.

That’s it for now. I’m looking forward to the afternoon sessions: “Salvation is of the Lord,” and “Evidences of Grace.”

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