IBCD Summer Institute: Plenary Session 6 “A Family Surprised by Grace”

Milton Vincent, author of the book A Gospel Primer, preached to us concerning four facts about the gospel. He encouraged us that “Gospel will put fat on our bones in the best of ways.” Vincent recounted how he used to live in the grip of fear, but “as the fear of failure was removed, as the energy he spent worrying about his sin was no longer spent worrying, the energy to follow Christ came.”

These are the 4 facts that he preached on:

• The Gospel is the power of God: Romans 1:16
• The Gospel is for us Christian’s too: Romans 1:15–16; I Corinthians 1:18
• The Gospel is the primary instrument God uses to enrich and transform us daily: Acts 20:32
• There are some simple and delicious ways that we can unleash the power of the gospel in our lives.
  • 3 Truths
    • Stare at the gospel
    • Believe it
    • Feast on it

Vincent was so very encouraging in his reminders to continue in the grace and the power that comes at the foot of the cross.

IBCD Summer Institute: Plenary Session 5 “Gods Grace When Things Are Hard”

In the fifth plenary session we had the opportunity to hear from Jim Newheiser on a topic that he is intimately familiar with, suffering. Newheiser gave what Milton Vincent said was one of the top sermons he had ever heard on any topic, and I would agree.

Newheiser opened up James and showed us that “James helps us to see how we cannot waste our trials.” “You love your own comfort but He (God) wants you to be like Him. The greatest growth in our lives are through the times that we suffer the most.”

Newheiser showed us this in three succinct points from James 1:2–5:

• When - You face trials

Newheiser pointed our that suffering is apart of the Christian life, it is not optional it is a fact of life. God does not deal with us in the way that we would like him to, he uses trials in the lives of his people to make us further into the image of Christ. 

• Consider - God has worked in your trials

You must think properly about your trials. If you just let your brain go, you will end up wasting your suffering. But God can use your suffering to produce in you growth that you would not be able to produce on your own.

• Ask - God for wisdom

There is no other time that you need wisdom more than during trials. We need to try and see our situation from Gods perspective and not our own. Newheiser reminded us to “Never loose sign of the goodness of God.”

IBCD Plenary Session 4: The quest for contentment

Tonight was the fourth and final plenary session for today and Dave Harvey helped us understand what the apostle Paul meant in Philippians 4:11–13 when he said “I have learned the secret to being content.”

Harvey asked the question, “How do you respond when you face an unfulfilled dream?” He pointed out that the real issue is how we respond to God when we don’t get what we want, when we want it.

One of the keys to contentment, according to Harvey, is summed up in a quote by Thomas Watson “If you have not what you desire, you have more than you deserve.” Harvey correctly pointed out that we think that because we have a goal that makes it God’s will, but we cannot fathom that he will deny us our dreams to get us where he wants us to go. “God is committed to our rescue not our success."

Harvey said, “At the heart of discontentment lies this conviction: I don’t have what I deserve. The heart of discontentment looks at others. But, the gospel tells us that we live infinitely above what we deserve. Contentment has to be something vertical and not horizontal. We get contentment by comparing what we have to what our sin deserves.”

This was one of my favorite sessions of the weekend as it drove home the amazing nature of what we receive in the gospel.

IBCD Summer Institute: Plenary Session 3 “Christ: Don’t start your family without Him”

In the third plenary session George Scipione (founder of IBCD) unpacked for us why we need Christ to be the center of our family. In this session, Christ: Don’t start your family without him, Scipione pointed us to the person and work of Christ to encourage us to walk in accordance with His commands.

Scipione encouraged us in two ways:

• You need Christ as your mediator

If we do not point our counselee’s to Christ as our mediator, our counseling will devolve into nothing more than moralism. Scipione rightly pointed out that “Apart from the power of God (through Christ) we will get no where. Without humility we will be trying in a fleshly way to convince your flesh to do spiritual things.”

Our job as counselors and as Christians is to ‘introduce people to the person Jesus Christ and then get out of the way. The truth of the gospel is personnel, “I am the way the truth and the life”’

• You need Christ as your model

Scipione said, “If you appreciate Jesus you should want to be like him”. He pointed to Hebrews 12:1–6 where as he stated it “Looking to Jesus” is the lynchpin to this text. As we “have one eye on the problem” we must keep “one eye on Jesus” our example, and “the Holy Spirit will give you the wisdom to apply it.”

So how does this apply to our family life? We must introduce our families to Christ the person who took on flesh, obeyed, died, and was raised again to intercede for us both as our mediator and as our model.

IBCD Summer Institute: Plenary Session 2 “When Sinners Say I Do: Mercy”

This marks the start of the second day of the IBCD Summer Institute, Families Shaped by Grace, and what can I say? I have been encouraged to infuse my family life with grace, challenged to see my sin for what it is, and been given the tools to counsel others (and myself) through Dark Providence.

This morning, Dave Harvey spoke on the topic of Mercy in marriage. He opened up for us Luke 6:27–36 and showed that “What it really means to follow the savior is to love your enemies.” He skillfully showed us how we are God’s enemies and yet He showed us mercy in sending His son to reconcile us to himself.

Harvey showed us what shaping family life in light of Mercy looks like:

1. Mercy is Kindness
2. Mercy in Covering
3. Mercy for Weakness

Some memorable points from this session were:

• In the cross, weakness becomes a place of mercy and forbearance.
• Patience from God does not terminate on us, it is for us to pass along.
• Of confrontation Harvey said, Mercy looks for patterns and offers observations not conclusions. Our intent is to connect a fellow sinner with their savior.

I have been so encouraged by these talks.

IBCD Summer Institute: Pre-Conferece Give them Grace Sessions 3 & 4

In the afternoon sessions, we are spending more time reflecting on how the gospel applies to our parenting. Fitzpatrick and Thompson started out by telling us that our usual formula, good parenting in good kids out, is not a biblical idea.

The third session, “Salvation is of the Lord”, encouraged us that our children’s salvation doesn’t depend on how good our parenting is. This is such a beautiful and encouraging thought. Here are a couple of great quotes by Fitzpatrick, “We were never meant to carry the responsibility for a human soul. Only the Good Shepherd is strong enough to bear the weight of a human soul.” “The Lord never encourages self-reliance, but rather faith in him.”

So what is your job? What should we do? They told us that we ought to:

• Believe - in the promises of God
• Trust that everything is already done - God is sovereign
• Know that our good parenting is not a guarantee of our children’s salvation
• Trust that Salvation is of the Lord
• Pray - “The knowledge of God’s Father-love is the first and simplest, but also the last and highest lesson in the school of prayer.” - Andrew Murray

“Desperation creates praying parents.” Thompson reminded us that as we trust in Christ for the salvation of our children, we are driven in desperate prayer for them. But, as we pray our weak/sinful prayers, Fitzpatrick reminded us that “Our Savior purifies and transforms our prayer into petitions that please him, so pour your heart out freely to your Father.”

Session 4, covered Evidences of Grace in our children’s lives.

“Grace does not forbid giving directions, promises, corrections and warnings. only cruelty would forbid such help.” - Bryan Chappell

Thompson clearly stated that Grace disciplines, but Grace does not leave them there, Grace also points us to the realities of our new record and standing that we gain in Christ. The grace of God trains us, we don’t want to raise children who are rebellious, we want children who are zealous for the gospel. So how do we get them there? We train them in the context of grace and the gospel. Our problem is that we typically assume this context, so Thompson encouraged us to make grace the context of our families, and this will help to lead to contentment.

Thompson then encouraged us to “parent for the glory of God not for our own glory. God’s methods turn everything we assume about his glory upside down. We are to boast in our strong savior who uses our weak parenting, so we can be content for the sake of Christ”. Our pray must be to that God “Glorify His name” in our lives and in our children’s lives.

We must remind ourselves that our identity is not wrapped up in how good of a parent we are or how well our children end up. Fitzpatrick puts it succinctly when she said, “We are beloved Children of God”. This flows into our parenting as we remind ourselves and children that without the work of Christ in our lives we would be lost sinners. So because we are in Christ we are “Humble partners (with our children) in grace”.

As I sat through these sessions on parenting I have been encouraged with the realities of God’s grace in my life, and I have been confronted in the areas where I have parented according to law. I have been encouraged to pray for my children and to “dazzle” them with God’s grace. Thank God that he has poured out his grace in my life!

IBCD Summer Institute: Pre-Conferece Give them Grace Sessions 1 & 2

Today, the IBCD Summer Institute, “Families Shaped by Grace,” commenced, featuring speakers such as Dave Harvey, Milton Vincent, and Elyse Fitzpatrick.

This morning was the Women’s Pre-Conference, entitled “Give them Grace,” with Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson, a mother and daughter team who wrote a book by the same name on the topic of parenting. The first two sessions covered this morning provided a helpful reminder of the Gospel, and how it applies to our parenting. In addition, they offered several practical steps for helping us teach the Gospel to our children.

To begin, they reminded us that we cannot give something (i.e., the Gospel) to our children that we do not know and believe. Fitzpatrick and Thompson defined the Gospel as all that Christ has done, and does, on behalf of his people. They rightly put an emphasis on Christ’s accomplishments rather than our own. They also reminded us of the realities that this wonderful good news has created, especially with respect to our identities in Christ.

All too often we teach and expect our children to keep the law perfectly, and teach them that this will “make God happy with you”. But what Fitzpatrick and Thompson reminded us is that neither we, nor our children, can keep the law perfectly. To expect them to do so produces regrettable results. If our children are wired like the older brother in the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15), then to encourage perfect obedience is to turn them into Pharisees. If they’re like the younger brother, then the expectation will put a burden on them that will eventually crush them and turn them to rebellion. Instead, we must point our children back to the truth that their works will never save them–it is only Christ and His work that will save them.

Now, you must be saying to yourself, “What about the law? Do I not give my children rules?” Fitzpatrick and Thompson answered an emphatic YES. We are to give them rules, but we must remember that its purpose is not to make them worthy. In their words, the law serves, “not to make them good”, but “to bring them to Christ” and “to show them what gospel-engendered gratitude looks like.”

So what do we do? In short, Fitzpatrick and Thompson recommended the following:

• Don’t lie to your children–their good works do not gain them salvation
• Don’t feed the legalist within them
• Train them to take refuge in Christ alone

Finally, the duo closed by reminding us–over and against our own self-righteous tendencies–that there is only “One good Father [and] one good Son. Taste and see that the Lord is good.” In other words, God is the only truly good parent, and Christ was the only truly good Son, and only after we rest in our salvation can we parent out of grace.

That’s it for now. I’m looking forward to the afternoon sessions: “Salvation is of the Lord,” and “Evidences of Grace.”